What are your most vivid memories of your early days and weeks of motherhood? We know what our culture tells us new mothers should feel: joy at embracing a new life into their family and excitement anticipating the happy years to come, perhaps tempered with fatigue from sleepless nights with a newborn.

But this is not what as many as 20% of new moms experience. Women who have postpartum depression, which is part of a broader category called perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, wrestle with strong emotions that are just the opposite of what’s typically expected.

To help women decide if they might have postpartum depression, Postpartum Support International (PSI), an international non-profit dedicated to promoting awareness, prevention, and treatment of mental health issues related to childbearing, provides these questions. Discuss every “yes” answer with your healthcare provider as soon as possible:

• Are you feeling sad or depressed?
• Do you feel more irritable or angry with those around you?
• Are you having difficulty bonding with your baby?
• Do you feel anxious or panicky?
• Are you having problems with eating or sleeping?
• Are you having upsetting thoughts that you can’t get out of your mind?
• Do you feel as if you are “out of control” or “going crazy”?
• Do you feel like you never should have become a mother?
• Are you worried that you might hurt your baby or yourself?

The symptoms of postpartum depression are important for families everywhere to understand. Perinatal mood and anxiety disorders affect women of every race, ethnicity, reproductive age, and economic status. Adoptive mothers are affected too, and not uncommonly experience post-adoption depression.

We can support our friends and family members who are new mothers by giving them companionship and the opportunity to express their feelings and emotions. We can educate them about the symptoms of postpartum depression and encourage them to seek professional support and counseling from healthcare professionals if they think they might have postpartum depression. We can let them know that postpartum depression can be treated successfully, and they will get their lives back.

The PSI web site lists phone numbers for coordinators in every state who offer education and support and can link women to resources in their area. These coordinators return calls within 24 hours but don’t handle emergencies. If you need to talk to someone right now, call your healthcare provider’s office and describe your emotional distress or call 911 or the National Suicide Prevention hotline 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

Know that you’re not alone and that new resources are being developed to help women suffering with PPD. Women’s health advocates, including the Association for Women’s Health, Obstetric and Neonatal Nurses, recently celebrated the passage of the Melanie Blocker Stokes MOTHERS Act, the initiative to combat postpartum depression which was signed into law as part of health insurance reform. The new law, authored by U.S. Senator Robert Menendez (D-NJ) and Rep. Bobby Rush (D-IL), establishes comprehensive federal commitments to combating postpartum depression through new research, education initiatives, and voluntary support service programs. Melanie Blocker Stokes is a Chicago woman who developed a severe form of postpartum depression called postpartum psychosis and jumped to her death in 2001 while her daughter was still an infant. Her mother, Carol Blocker, tirelessly advocated for the passage of federal legislation to help prevent tragic outcomes for women and their families affected by this life-sapping disorder.

Perhaps the true meaning of Mother’s Day is to make sure that every day of the year all new mothers feel, in the words of Senator Menendez, “safe and supported, not scared and alone.”

About the Author: Catherine Ruhl, CNM, MS, is a certified nurse midwife in active practice and Director of Women’s Health for AWHONN in Washington, DC. She also writes the Health Sense blog for Health4Women.org and Health4Mom.org.