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Keeping the Passion Alive

By Anne Katz, RN, PhD

Keeping the Passion Alive

Remember the good old days? Those days when you made love with your partner morning, afternoon and night? The long and loving encounters that left you breathless? And believing that the passion would last forever?

And then life happened. A baby. Work. Spit up. Exhaustion so overwhelming you can barely find the energy to breathe? When the love of your life became 14lbs of delicious fat rolls and a smile that is reserved only for you? And your partner is now that guy who spends a lot of time watching TV or on the computer and hinting that just a little lovin’ sent his way would be very appreciated.

It happens to lots of couples: the passion gets lost in the pressures of every day life. For new moms, sex is a distant memory buried under a pile of chores and baby care. And for new dads, memories of that passion make them wonder if they will ever have sex again. “I do” becomes “to do”, another chore, another item on the list that keeps falling to the bottom or scratched out altogether!

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Take it from someone who has been there and done that; sex comes back and it’s better and sweeter than ever before. Find a way to keep those fires burning or else you may not have the luxury of rediscovery when the exhaustion lifts.

Newsflash: your children will grow up and move away, physically and emotionally. And you will be left with your partner, who hopefully has stuck around long enough to reconnect with you. Your primary relationship is with your partner and you owe it to both of you to keep that priority despite the demands of being parents.

Spend time together doing things that were important to you in the beginning of your relationship. Sex doesn’t have to be a night-long effort; grab that early morning quickie when the kids are asleep. Take weekend breaks away from the kids—it’s good for them and for you. You don’t even have to go away! Send older kids to grandma for a sleep over. Get a baby sitter and send her out with the kids to the park while you stay at home and rekindle those flames. It’s a wise investment, just wait and watch your “to do” become your favorite “must do!”

 


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