My name is Latoya and I’m the mother of two handsome baby boys. My husband Brandon and I had our first baby in February 2022, then we welcomed our second baby boy in June 2023.
My first birthing experience was in a hospital with a midwife; the second time around 16 months later, I birthed at the same hospital, except with an obstetrician.
Both experiences were beautiful because I had great support from my husband and sister, so I was able to cope through the pain and didn’t feel alone. They comforted me and advocated for me from the beginning of my labor until I left the hospital.
Initial Thoughts About Labor and Birth – Before Pregnancy
Before I was pregnant I thought labor would be painful but quick. I always felt that it would be a beautiful experience and worth the journey.
When my labor began, I thought I could tolerate the contractions longer than I was actually able to handle.
Unfortunately, my experiences with the epidural didn’t meet my expectations. I believed I’d have a catheter in my back and would only feel a little pinch. However, I felt completely numb, and I had no control of my legs for three days. This also meant I had to follow up with an anesthesia provider after I left the hospital because I was unable to walk fully.
A year after having my first baby I’d still have a tingling sensation down my back occasionally. Despite that experience, I chose to have an epidural again when I gave birth for the second time and it was a much-improved experience.
Support from the Hospital Team
My first impression of the hospital team was great, they were welcoming and informative. My primary nurse was teaching a new nurse. They communicated with me and my spouse effectively throughout my care.
My midwife was professional, and she included both of us in making decisions throughout my labor. I appreciated her giving consistent feedback about my labor progress while assessing both the needs of my baby and me.
At night in the hospital, things were a little different. I didn’t receive the same consistency of nursing care from the night shift as I did with my first baby. They weren’t as compassionate or informative as the day shift nurses. My sister is a Clinical Nurse Education Specialist in Labor & Delivery and as one of my support persons, she helped fill this gap.
She also served as my doula, helping me navigate severe contraction pain through each of the stages of labor with constant encouragement. I found it challenging to find a doula in my area who was available for me and my family. I’d encourage families to reach out to doulas far in advance to receive support before, during, and after hospital care as they are increasingly in demand.
My Best Advice for Others
Have a support person who can advocate for you during pregnancy. Going to a doctor’s office alone can be intimidating, especially if this is your first pregnancy.
It helps to have that support, even if that person can only be on speaker phone, when you talk to your pregnancy care provider. Your support person should be someone focused on ensuring you receive the best care and a person who knows how to advocate for you.
I recommend childbirth education classes as a way to create community with other parents and help foster multiple solutions to questions you may have about giving birth or other topics.
Some providers and fitness instructors offer virtual prenatal classes. This is another way to get involved with a great supportive environment to share community resources.
My OB’s office didn’t have this option, but I love this networking concept as it builds your awareness of available options.
Joy and Satisfaction in Birthing
Both of my experiences showed me the power and beauty of birthing your baby. Especially when you have a team of professionals that advocate for your best interests.
It made a huge difference that my pregnancy care providers were Black women. They established trust during my care and each had great bedside manner. My midwife set me up for success by allowing me to sleep before I gave birth because she recognized that I was exhausted.
She shared with me that baby was doing well with labor and that she’d give me time to relax before I had to begin pushing. This helped me prepare; I was ready to push as instructed. My first son was born with only 15 minutes of pushing! Similarly, I only pushed 10 minutes with my second baby.
As a mother our childbirth stories deeply impact future life experiences. I’m thankful that both of my birthing outcomes were positive; however, I understand that as a nation we have many more opportunities to close the gaps on maternal disparities. It starts with transparency and willingness to hear from the community that our clinicians and birth workers serve.
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